Day 2 Post-Op, Continued

We’re still trucking through recovery! I am probably overdoing it with all the blog posts but a) it helps the heart to write it out and b) I’ve found that it’s really comforting to know that I am not alone when I read about others’ post-amp experiences. Today was a teaching day and we learned a lot…

1. Gabapentin is the secret to Molly getting the rest she needs. We were prescribed some on Monday at Molly’s consult and I cheated the instructions a bit — instead of giving her a dose every 8 hours, she got a pill with breakfast and one again with dinner. Post-amp, I realized I need to follow those instructions and get her all the pain relief possible, so today she got one pill at 6am and another at 2pm. That afternoon pill did the trick. She was conked out until almost 7 (when usually she eats dinner at 5)! I normally don’t like to see sedation as a side effect of anything but I know that Molls needs to sleep and rest, especially after last night. She’ll get her third pill in just a few minutes, so fingers crossed it continues to help tonight.
2. I had my first real moment of doubt and fear about our decision to take Molly down this road. I was remembering how on Friday morning, just before we left for the Cancer Center, I was letting Molly do her business in the yard and this ornery magpie thought she was getting too close to his nest. He has hated Molly for years and this morning he was really upset. It was probably the funniest thing I have seen in a while: this magpie hopping along the fence, following behind Molly while she searched for the best place to “go”, just squawking to beat the band. She finally got so annoyed with him that she turned around and barked once, just enough to scare him back a few inches. Obviously pleased with herself, she went back to sniffing. The magpie came back, yelling again, and Molly started to chase him off the fence. The same process continued for at least four or five more rounds and after each one, Molly would turn around, look at me with her tail wagging, and then pounce away in the yard. I laughed then and I laughed tonight, but then I wondered if she would ever be that playful and energetic again. Will she get that comfortable on her three legs, one of which is already compromised with that partial cruciate tear? Will we get to see her roll on her back in the grass or use her legs to push off the couch when we’re wrestling on the family room floor? I know deep down that it’s possible for her to get there. I know that we would so much rather see her alive and three-legged than tortured with that terrible osteosarcoma pain for the remainder of her life. But tonight I had a moment where my heart hurt with the “what ifs.”
3. Then, we had our first yelp of pain. Molly was ready to go outside (still waiting for the BM!) so I assisted her from the bedroom to the front door and on the way, she decided she wanted to detour to the family room. She went to lie down on the amp side (which she has done before, albeit briefly, when her right leg falls asleep) and as soon as she hit the floor, she told me this was not okay. I got her up right away and her tail was back to wagging in just a few minutes, but as I’m sure everyone knows, it’s hard to forget that noise. It’s even harder to forgive yourself for allowing that to happen. Of course, Molly forgave me right away which made me even MORE emotional. Dogs are truly the best
4. Finally, we learned that “getting back to normal” can happen in even small, short ways right now. It was a beautiful weekend here in the mountains and I think it was hard for us all to be stuck inside. Molly was antsy this morning so we gave her some time out on the deck (with us nearby, of course). Then Jordan and I snuck out for lunch with his family while we let Molly sleep undisturbed for an hour in our room. It makes us nervous to leave her for any amount of time but it did help to get out in the ‘real world’ and remember that life is still going on. What’s happening in our world, in our house, is just temporary and just a small part of our journey. There is still more out there, especially for us.

Wish us luck for a night of good rest and another peaceful day of recovery tomorrow. Jordan and I are both headed back to work, which I know will be hard on us (not so much on Molly… she is used to staying home and sleeping all day. In fact, she gets annoyed when we come home to let her out at lunch. She gives us a look that clearly says, “Why are you disturbing me?”). Thank you all for the encouragement and support — it continues to help us power through!

Love,
Kirby, Jordan, & Molly